Why A Father is Not A Dad

By Brian Maloney

It can be said that any man who procreates is a
father, whether present in that childís life or not.
While this is technically true, it really takes a man to
be a dad!

There is nothing more insulting than a cavalier man
thinking he has every right in the world to see the
child he helped to create, but was never there for him
or her. It is as if he or she is obligated to him like
that of a debt.

As a child of a broken home and now as a father
myself, I know the purest definition of being a dad is
the time spent with your child that will always prevail
in the end.

Would you remember your father more if he was a
millionaire but never there, or a near-penniless man
who spent time with you and showed you the love
you needed?

To me, itís a no brainer!

However, many dynamics can and do interfere with
being a dad. Turmoil-ridden marriages, separations,
relocations, resentment from the child, and the
ever-abundant brainwashing of a child to hate.

So if youíre a father doing his best to be a dad, how
do you overcome such obstacles?

Do everything in your power to maintain the bond
you have with your child! If that means following that
child to Timbuktu and lose your career, getting on
better terms with the childís mother, or simply putting
more time into strengthening the father-child

If there is anything I can take from my own father, is
that of sporadic appearances and child support from
over 2000 miles away never satisfied my need for a
dad. Today, as a 32 yr. old man, it has never been
so evident how important a dad is in a childís life. My
humble opinion is that I would have had a lot less
security issues had a dad been present in my

When your child was created, that little person
should have been the most important part of your
existence and to vow never to break that mindset
should have been paramount. The seriousness of
having a child from the conception and subsequently
recognizing his or her importance could be the factor
with dead beat dads in most cases.

How do you rank your values?

Simply put, if youíre ranked above your child, youíre
not being a dad, youíre the father of that child who
simply donated your sperm for his or her life.

Instead of just being a donor to anotherís life, commit
to taking the time to know your child and let them get
to know you no matter what the conditions.

With this in mind, you will be doing the most
important job of your life and that is helping the life
you created become a loving, well adjusted person
who can pass these parenting traits down to the next

After all, isnít that what being a dad is all about?

--by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com
Want to improve your personal values?
Get high-quality-relationship advice for
guys and gals from a 'Logical' standpoint.
Visit http://valueprep.com
**Attn Ezine editors / Site Owners**
Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in
your ezine or on your website as long as you
leave all links in place, do not modify the content
and include our resource box as listed above.
ValuePreps Home
More Helpful Articles
Copyright © 2005; by ValuePrep.com. All rights reserved