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Is Conflict Inevitable in any Intimate Relationship? By Brian Maloney It is often as misunderstood as anything else regarding personal intimate relationships. Conflict is and never has been something new, as it has been going on since the dawn of humans. So why is it, that in intimate relationships, we feel that conflict is inevitable? Is it not something we can avoid considering we are with someone who is so close to us, and we see them an intimate part of our life? The fact is that conflict certainly is inevitable in any healthy relationship! However, to what degree do we consider conflict in our life is undoubtedly the burning question? When one considers a mate for a long term relationship, they are usually by then caught up in the emotions of this new endeavor and are not considering that there will obviously be conflict throughout. Whether sporadic or consistent, it is absolutely natural to have differences in opinion, viewpoints and approaches. Moreover, if we were to all agree on practically everything all the time, we wouldn’t see the forest for the trees! It is a fact that conflict in a relationship has its place, but does it naturally tend to resolve itself, or does it merely fester in the relationship and cause additional strife that tends to suppress it? If it is the latter, then the conflict is going beyond an organic occurrence, and it has become a hindrance in the relationships progression. How would we know when this conflict is becoming too much for the relationship? If conflict is not resolved within a day, if its occurrences are such that you feel that they are overwhelming to the health of the relationship, or if you feel yourself holding a grudge or your partner is, and a resolution is difficult at best. These instances are many times dealbreakers inside the inner mechanisms of an ongoing relationship. It goes to the simple theory of cost vs. benefit. The cost of having this relationship outweigh the benefits that it should yield. Respect! It can come down to basic respect for your partner and looking at them as an equal to you not below you and vice versa. If you fundamentally respect your partners very core person, than you can ultimately come to a resolution ( unless of course they killed someone), to your disagreements. However, if you and your partner are so hard headed that you can’t come to a resolution to your differences and the relationship always suffers as a result; you must either come together and recognize this as a problem, or possibly move on to seek more harmonious partnerships. It can be a hard row to hoe, but in the long run, examining this question of conflict in intimate relationships can galvanize you and your partner, not only towards each other, but to all of your relationships. --by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com Want to improve your personal values? Get high-quality-relationship advice for guys and gals from a 'Logical' standpoint. Visit http://valueprep.com |
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